it's sad entry after a long time

It's really a sad thing to update this blog after a long time of hiatus with a sad entry.

I don't want to elaborate more. I'm sure the friends closest to me and her would know what happen.

Izzati, letting you go is like flying a kite. Even tho the kite may fly further and higher into the sky, there's always the person on the ground, trying to make sure the kite does not go further and get it closer when the time comes.

That person is me. Pls read between the lines.

True love.

Suddenly I'm a change person now. After the tragic incident I had with you, and my 2 times near death experience, I suddenly come to realise that I'm appreciating life and the people around me more and more. Even you and my parents. I'm sure you noticed it.

Remember I told you that day when I was driving, then I skidded, which I almost hit a tree, luckily it just stop inches before that big tree, if not, I think I would be at the high dependency ward now considering the speed I was going at that point of time. Instantenously I thought of you, but ya, nothing moved you.

I guess painting the picture together with you now would be just another drawing that will not be completed.

I don't know, deep inside me, I can't feel hatred anymore. And I don't know what smile is without you around now. Like I say before, you make me complete. Even though I have the love of your parents and siblings, and you knowing my condition, I just need that special love, care and concern from you.

I miss you.

Envy when I see people.

Failure.

I want to be a listening ear to you, but I just do not know where to start.

Everyday without fail, be it a work or at home, I would pray to asking HIM to give me a chance to make amendments, to give me a chance to guide you throughout your life, to give me a chance to let me love you again, and everything.

Is it too late to make amendments?

~hidupku sebuah tanda tanya. . . . mengapa~

I hope to see you wear that ring again one day. And when the ripple for you has calm down, perhaps you might start to thing rationally and the goals we've set for each other, not just short term but long term.

I have something to pass to you personally.

I'm messaging you now, flooding your inbox and calling you. But one day, if suddenly nothing happens and I'm silent,



Perhaps . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .I need you.


I still love you Izzati.


~biar aku cium tanganmu sekali lagi bersama~
~bukan sekali jalan berduri, hanya Tuhan yang pasti mengerti~


~di sebalik deruan khatulistiwa~
~tempat asalnya satira KISAH KITA~